Pregnant Man?

So, here we have it. I have just seen the advertisement for a telly program about the "Pregnant Man" to be aired shortly.

Now, it is of course everyones right to be whatever they want in this life. Trans-gender, transvestite, gay, heterosexual but this "Pregnant Man" thing really disturbs me.

The program is about the worlds first pregnant man. Now, this is entirely inaccurate. He claims to be the worlds first pregnant man and has enjoyed the publicity and income from such a notion.

However, and correct me if I am wrong. But he is actually a she. A post op transsexual who was born a woman. Post operation she still has women's reproductive organs. But he/she now has had a nip/tuck on the external part of her body and now has taken hormonal tablets to allow her body to alter and look more manly in appearance.

So, shouldn't the title of this program be "Bearded Lady is pregnant"?

Selling due to upgrade

I often wonder why people are always in a rush to buy the next "new and improved" consumer product. For example, televisions are getting thinner, widescreen, LCD, Plasma. You can even hang them on the wall and some of the have integrated DVD players and digital tuners.

I don't disagree for one moment that these items are nice to have, look good and can enhance your viewing pleasure but I was surprised to see an advertisement in the classified section in the Evening Herald recently.

The advert was listing for sale a "almost brand new, top of the range 32" LCD television. Still boxed and hardly used".

The price? It was going for £300.00. The reason it was advertised? Selling due to upgrade.

Has the world gone mad? Or maybe I have. Is this kind of thing common? Surely wasting money and upgrading to a newer model won't afford that many benefits. Maybe this new TV has two screens? Maybe you can climb into the picture and take part!

Probably not, it will be just the same as the other one which he sold for a financial loss (and I presume it's a he). It will still have a volume button and you will still see the football very clearly, maybe on a slightly larger screen.

And we wonder why people are in so much debt!

Crackheads?

I was at Superdrug in town picking up a prescription, which I had to pay for. Antibiotics if you must know. Anyway there was a fella at the counter, polite and friendly getting a pre-prepared bag from the lady behind the counter. After this he gave the woman a number that he had memorised and off he went. Just then another man walked in friendly again and mentioned to the woman "I'll have one of those too". After which he gave the woman a number to write on a clipboard. After I had finished paying for my prescription I asked the assistant what it was that was obviously in hot demand (2 men in 2 minutes). She explained that it was clean needles, as they were heroin addicts.



Now I do agree that free needles should be available freely because the alternative is unthinkable with Hepatitis, AIDS and other blood born diseases.

But in a moment of clarity it acted like a social barometer of the country for me. In 2 minutes two people had drained the system of funds and money and service while one person (me) put money back into the system.



These two fellas probably don't work and will be in receipt of the full benefit package. Accommodation, jobseekers etc. etc. In addition to the additional expense to the health system that their condition places on the NHS and finally a bit of theft to provide Heroin, Crack or Crystal Meth for there habit.

Compare that to myself, working, contributing to the system, providing for my family and bringing up a Son.

The ratio of two Crackheads to one taxpayer isn't good really is it. Even if there were two of me in the equation, I am fairly sure that my (and my doppelgangers) contributions to society would not be enough to pay for the social expenditure of the two addicts aforementioned.



So, the Country is doomed. Bankrupt, just the same as High Street Banks. The Government is handing out money and at the same time borrowing more (currently £80 Billion) and soliciting money from Saudi Arabia to prop up our ailing businesses. Add to this an emergency package with taxpayers money being ploughed into the banking system and add to that an Olympic Village to be built and Olympic Event to stage.

Doesn't paint a pretty picture does it.

Spain anyone?

Not so Victorious Victory

Yet again, the blundering Royal Navy have managed to mess things up. No doubt Senior Royal Navy Officers have discussed this subject in the Gentleman's Clubs in Mayfair and Eaton Square. Rosy cheeked, full cup of Port in one hand and a cigar in the other.


So, HMS Victory is costing too much for the Navy to subsidise anymore and other finance packages are being looked at which could mean this piece of history is sold to the highest bidder.

The speculation concerns a study into the long term future of the flagship. What I can't understand is that although the visitor footfall is circa 500,000, the Navy are complaining about the £1.5 million per year upkeep.

When I went to see the ship some years ago it was a really interesting and well worth a visit. Now the prices to get into the Naval Base and see HMS victory are a staggering £18.50 or conversely £12.00 if you want to see a single attraction like HMS Victory.

This yields (using the minimum ticket price) £6 million pounds per year. Surely if HMS victory is such a draw then selling this is like killing the goose that lays the golden egg?

Maybe I'm no economist but a £4.5 million or 75% gross profit sounds good to me.

Whatever next? Closing Devonport and moving all of the Submarines and Ships to Portsmouth and Scotland?

Intruder Alert - Filthy Man on the Premises

So, as a follow on from yesterdays debacle. I was just partially awake at about 0500 hrs (parents among you will know about the benefits of getting up before the baby wakes). And I heard a bang, like when a door (exterior) opens quickly, in a rush. This was followed by a groan. This made me bolt upright in bed and listen more intently.

Then, again, the same noise, but more banging and groaning this time. My other half heard it and we looked at each other wondering what it could be. The only thing we could think of (because of the loud breathing and gasping) was that a neighbour was in trouble, fighting for breath because of a heart attack or something. I know it's far fetched but what kind of rationale do you apply this early!

So, still naked I stuck my head out of the back door and shouted to the next door neighbour to see if he was OK. I couldn't see anyone but the moment I looked the other way a man (about my age... 33) said "oh shit" and climbed down from where he was (on next doors shed trying to get into our back garden).

I rushed inside pulled shorts and T Shirt on and went round to the next door neighbours back garden. In the meantime my Fiancee phoned the Police.

Then comes the funny bit (if it can be funny). The man had jumped over a pike fence at the bottom of the neighbours garden, into brambles and had got stuck. Horizontally, suspended like a magicians elevating assistant. But far less glamorous and smellier. He looked beside himself with panic as I stood next to him, watching him twitch and turn, trying to free himself. When I asked him why he had come he replied "because my Girlfriend dared me to climb this tree" (in a local accent). Indicating three things. Firstly, his lack of success with the Ladies (no Girlfriend anywhere), his stupidity (climbing a tree in someones back garden at 0500 hrs is not sexy) and finally the fact that he was off his face on drugs.

Then he asks me if I have a knife to cut him free? Did he think I was crazy? Ooh yes, of course smelly drug intruder man, here is a knife to free yourself and attempt to attack me!!!

So, when he finally freed himself by ripping his jeans and snapping the belt that was suspending him he fell into the brambles, swearing at the pain of him getting fully thorned up and then scuttles away down the back hedge where he mysteriously vanished. When the Police arrived I explained what happened. They found it highly amusing, checked the area for signs of the toerag and then that was it. Freak show over.

It shook up my Fiancee but angered me. Obviously in desperation to steal something to hawk to keep his drug habit, he really didn't know where he was or what he was doing, he was so thin and filthy.

But what if, in desperation it had turned nasty, like at all too often does (as we read about in the press).

Still, a worthy reminder to keep everything locked up and be observant in the future.

Bad Manners

Hi Again

Well it has been a long time since I have posted a blog. Mainly because I have been working in places with no Internet access. So, for that I apologise. But I am back for a week or so and have lots to tell you. All from different areas. This will start tomorrow. Beginning with this mornings very early start at 0500 Hrs. Mainly due to someone breaking onto our property and waking us up. A complete stranger high as a kite no less.

More about that tomorrow.

Exeter Versus Plymouth

Well, you already know how I feel about Plymouths Drake Circus shopping Centre (See earlier "Giant Purple Buttocks" blog). So, with some well earned time off (the reason for lack of blog entries... apologies) I headed up to Exeters Princesshay shopping Centre. Armed with a Lady who knows about shops and stuff we drove the 45 minutes to sample the delights.

Now, lets get this straight. I don't like Exeter. The way the locals presume that Exeter is superior to Plymouth is annoying. The fact that they percieve their City as the Capital of the Wescountry and also (laughably) have had their application to be their own Council entity turned down (instead remaining under the umbrella of Devon County Council).

They haven't even got a Seaside!

First impressions of the entry to Princesshay was disappointing. It looks like a multi level carpark from the road entry. At least Plymouth uses the Buttocks tactic to try and disguise it! The layout in the carpark is tight and restricted, certainly not open plan like Drakes Circus.

Then, after shoe-horning the car into a space we proceeded to the exit marked "shops". Should all be good now you would think but the single (thats right, only one) elevator was "Out of Order". No good with our pram then. And with us being on the 5th level really hacked me off. State of the art? Hardly. Accessible (Not). So after descending the stairs (which are too narrow) we arrived in the lobby. Where the carparking machines are for post-paying you carpark charge. Only two machines with one of them "Out of Order". Big queue on the way back then.

So, all in the open air too, no inside shopping. Great at this time of year then. Many shops that are here maintain a presence in Plymouth, but, there are a few really good ones (apparently, according to my better half. All Saints, REISS, Karen Millen, Molton Brown etc etc.) that have so far alluded Plymouth.

It stokes the fire really that a lot companies still see us as being too far out of the way down here. I don't know why, they would be able to achieve a good yield I'm sure. Take a look at all of the apartments being built and sold in the City. All costing a fantastic amount of money. Well capable of supporting stores needed by the local fashionistas.

Anyway. Rant over. No arguments. Plymouth IS better than Exeter, it's a fact. Oh, and IKEA is coming here so that proves it too!